Inside S.T.I.L.E.T.T.O Private vs. Public Relationships

Welcome to Inside STILETTO , a new section strictly relationship based. Take a minute to get acquainted and inside the head of one of our writers "Slimm Fancy" as she takes you on a journey of thought with a wide range of relationship topics.

Just a reminder these are the personal opinions of Slimm based on her experience. Feel free to leave a footprint and tell us what you think!

Topic: "Private vs. Public"

So you're a female who recently found yourself heavily involved with someone and have both decided it's time to make things official and put that title on things. You guys are now in a relationship and things seem to be going well.

You decide it's time to make that announcement to your closest friends and family and also take that "dangerous" step of changing your relationship status on FACEBOOK. Let's pause for a moment....Why do I call this "dangerous??" Well for one Facebook is the #1 Social Networking site which allows you to say whatever is on your mind while others view, critique, judge, comment and talk about it. Secondly, no matter how many privacy blocks you may or may not have there is really NO complete privacy on Facebook.

Your significant other is against others being in their business and is completely against the whole status change on Facebook primarily because they would rather not deal with the reactions that will follow....

Now let's stop & think....

Is he serious?!
Is he really upset that his ex called him having a moment because he moved on?!
Is he really bothered that all his "old news" is now trying to become "daily news" now that he's taken?!
Is he really annoyed at all the msgs flowing through his inbox with suggestions of what he should or shouldn't do?!

Does he not realize that you have the same reactions on your end but that its normal?!
Does he not realize that it is human nature for others to want something they can't have & that its all about the challenge?!

So the question is should a relationship be completely Private or completely Public & be healthy??

Here's my view....I've been there, done that & from experience there needs to be some level of balance. The only way a relationship can be stress-free while being completely private is if you two are the ONLY beings left on earth!!!!! The reality is we live in a world full of people who watch, observe, comment and make judgments and even when you think you aren't being noticed, YOU ARE! If you are in a happy relationship, others views and opinions should not be a determining factor on the success of your relationship.

On the other hand a completely Public relationship can be extremely stressful and cause strain. We've all seen it from Vanessa Bryant & Kobe Bryant, Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries to Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore....having too many people in your business makes it easy for others to sabotage everything you've built.

So it is important to have balance. Your relationship shouldn't be a secret & if it is something is wrong!!! But it also doesn't need to have it's own reality show. Compromise is key to balance and you need to find a place which makes both of you comfortable.